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Hi Half-Baked,

Wow, where do I begin? I've recently been struggling at work. I'm starting to wonder what the point of it all is? I'm not sure I'm able to continue working for a living doing something that I don't totally love to do. I have a life career goal, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how I can do it now and still pay the bills. I know it sounds dramatic, I realize that a lot of people spend their lives clocking in and out of a job just to pay the bills, but I guess I'm starting to think I'm not that person. I mean, how does everyone do it? How do you do it? (Do you do it? Do you love your job?) I walk past a nursing home everyday on my way to work and in the window sit these frail, little old ladies alone in their chairs, glued to their television sets, and I think, 'holy shit, I don't want that to happen to me!' I don't want my life to just float-on by while I medicate myself on television fumes and a job that turns me into a drone, but I also don't want to grow dreadlocks, move to a commune and never wash myself again either. Can you give me some advice?

—Desperately Seeking Something

Dear Desperate,

First off, know that you are not alone. It's sad but a fact, that the tiniest percentage of folks actually enjoy their jobs (and most of them that say they do are just big fat liars anyway). Personally I hate mine. What once held the promise of providing new and interesting opportunities had, in time, become a daily grind that was slowly beginning to weaken my mind. The creative aspect of my career had become lost in the day-to-day responsibilities that went along with it. So what did I do? I decided that if 40 to 50 hours of my week must go into routine mechanical tedium then I deserve a side-line that can provide not only satisfaction but enriching challenges to exercise my melting brain. I decided to write a monthly advice column.

It's funny, and again kinda sad, that I approach the average work day with a less than enthusiastic mind frame, but after hours, when I should be tuckered out from a long day of drudgery, I can't wait to get right back on the computer to give half-baked advice to you guys.

It seems unrealistic in today's world to be able to pay the bills and stay ahead of the game on anyone's dream job. Face it, dream jobs don't generally pay well. We slave away for the greater goal of a roof over our heads and three square meals but there's nobody stopping you from finding a creative or rewarding activity to balance it all out. In fact, I find writing this column more rewarding then my "real" job partly because I'm not doing it for the money, I'm simply doing it for me. So don't quit your job with the expectation of finding your fantasy work world. Continue to participate in the daily grind but start using company time to sit and dream about what you'll be doing when the whistle blows.

Often, during a particularly wretched work day I will turn my mind to that month's column. Sometimes I even dream that some huge newspaper conglomerate will stumble across Half-Baked Advice, love it, and call me up with an offer to write full time so I can end my days of bondage. But even if that never happens, I still have a few hours to do what brings me pleasure after fulfilling my obligations. So find a hobby, write a book, take a class (teach a class), just find something that makes up for the forty hours you have to whore yourself for the corporate world. And if you're thinking about volunteering I heard about these frail, little old ladies who would probably enjoy a visit.

Hey Half-Baked,

You seem to be the guy with all the answers. So here goes. I have a question. What is it?

—Signed, MoreBakedThanYou

Hey MoreBaked,

I'm not sure if you want me to tell you your question or just the answer. So here goes. Yes, you probably are.

Oh HBA,

I gotta say I love your column. It's like having a weird friend drop by to smoke a little "you-know" and just shoot the shit about the trivial crap in our lives that seems to make more of a difference than it should. Every fifth word or so you actually make sense and give me something to think about. What made you decide to write an "under-the-influence" advice column?

—Bud

Oh Bud,

I'm so glad to hear that you think I make sense, every fifth word is so much more than I had hoped for. Way back when, the editor here at the NTC had been after me to write something—anything—for the mag. She's pretty hard to say no to (Kiki "Freaky" Brewster is what we call her behind her back). So I thought about it. A "green" gardening column? An inebriated etiquette column? Boozy book reviews? Where could I apply my need to tell people what to do while looking like I'm providing a valuable service AND while enjoying a little "you-know?" So I thought to myself, maybe I should write a letter to an advice columnist and ask them what kind of column I should do. And it came to me just like that.

Dear Half-Baked,

I surely hope you can help me. I'm a frail old lady and sometimes when I'm sitting alone in my chair watching my stories on the television I get the feeling that someone is watching me through the window. Am I just paranoid?

—Signed, Little Old Lady Who

My Dearest Who,

You're not paranoid, or even crazy. There is someone watching you, someone who will do anything to avoid turning out like you.

OK, so I made that last one up. But I had to. I know that this column is relatively new, but the readership of the NTC has been growing like mad with every edition so why did I only get three letters this month? Come on people, I see you out there on the street every day. I know you have problems. So drop me a line, it doesn't matter how trivial your problem may seem. If something bugs you, write. If something confuses you, write. If you need a sounding board for some peeve that seems too inconsequential or just too odd to discuss with your real friends, throw it to me and I'll see if I can put it into perspective for you. Til next month...

subscribe For the best advice around—or just to talk—email Half-Baked at: halfbaked@newtowncrier.ca

 

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