A Maniac on the Floor?

I have this little quirk that I’m well known for among my extended circle—it’s called my ‘dancing window’ and it can be thrown wide open at any moment without warning. I must admit, I am a little self-conscious about my stellar moves—they have been compared to both Elaine’s party-stopping steps and the opening moves of Cliff Huxtable on the Cosby Show. Throw in the occasional booty-shake and basically that’s me! What I lack in skill and technique though I make up for in enthusiasm and stamina because once I get going I am unstoppable.

When I was in college I was a dancing fool. There was a group of us that went out religiously every Thursday to Swing Night. Not a one of us could actually swing dance but we sang and shimmied and shook our way through the night regardless. It was full of revelry and debauchery and it was fabulous. Fast forward a few years and it was a somewhat different group who went out every Wednesday to 80’s night, feasting on cheap drinks and remixes of the Smiths and the Cure and the Psychedelic Furs. Then our late morning philosophy classes slowly turned into nine-to-five day jobs that required a little more mental acuity than our gin-soaked grey matter could handle and the mid-week dance party started to fade.

Fast forward more than a few years later and here we are. My dance parties are more sporadic and occasional but my dancing window is fully operational! It has been known to open at parties where I have demonstrated some of my more original dance moves like ‘Shopping For Clothes,’ ‘Starting The Chainsaw & Cutting Down Trees’ (one of my faves), and ‘Waiting In Line.’ I probably should be more embarrassed for doing these things in front of other human beings, but really I’m not. I mean, I could fake it and pretend to feel bad for having so much fun at my own expense but why bother? As an aside, I think that ‘Shopping For Clothes’ and its sister move ‘Trying On Clothes’ may have been picked up at one particular party and put into syndication so stay tuned—they may be coming to a dance floor near you!

The trouble I have with dancing these days (aside from being a spectacle) is that it’s time sensitive, there aren’t a lot of places to shake your ass at 2 in the afternoon, which is sometimes when my window opens. There also aren’t that many places that play the kind of music that I like to dance to. I’m not really a big fan of the oomp-cha oomp-cha club music, and I feel a little out of place surrounded by chicks in ridiculous heels who are ass-grinding to the latest top-40-ear-vomit. I’d much rather dance around to old motown or soul or good old fashioned rock— hell, I’ve even gotten up and two-stepped at Big Bad John’s on occasion. I also like songs that I can sing along with while I perfect my arm-choreography-a-la-Celine. Shaking your fists at the sky while hollering out the lyrics to old Marvin Gaye tunes like you really mean it is all part of the dancing experience.

It’s a sad day when my window is open and I have no place to go and as of yet I have not become so brazen that I will dance randomly in public mid-day (unless of course I’m grocery shopping and then I just can’t help myself). Luckily though, I’ve recently discovered a little hidden gem, a brewpub that has a wicked good band on Saturday nights that pumps out old soul tunes like nobody’s business. I can shake my ass and sing along all night and so far no-one’s complained, in fact a few have even joined in. So for those of you hiding at home in the dancie-pants closet of shame, feeling too tired and dusty to cut a rug, come out come out wherever you are, there’s a beat out there with your name on it and it's time to bust a move!

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