Fright Night

I've been busy, really busy. I've just finished watching episode 5 of the Friday the 13th series and Jason still needs to Take Manhattan, Go to Hell, go to outer space (yes, you read that right) and take-on Freddie. I know, just a couple lines into my article and you've already lost total respect for my taste in films. Well I didn't say I liked the series, I just feel compelled to watch it because I haven't seen it before, and I like to try new things.

I bring up Friday the 13th because this series is a perfect example of how horror movies can be pointless, wastes of time when done ineffectively. Sure you can learn things from them. Slasher films in general have taught me valuable life lessons. Like if you want to live to the end of the film you must do the following:

1. be a virgin
2. be Caucasian
3. don't be queer (especially men) or you'll die shortly after the person of colour
4. don't act like you're a slut, or even mention wanting to get laid (remember, Jason only started killing people because he was left to drown in the lake while his camp counselors were getting it on)
5. don't wear high heels while being chased
6. don't go upstairs
7. don't be a wimp

So there's that list, be sure to keep it with you at all times, and if you've already lost your virginity (I'm thinking most of you have), I hope to hell you did it after you were married, or you're a goner for sure.

Okay, so, where was I? Right, horror films.

Well, it being Halloween time and all I thought I'd bring you up to speed on some horror movies that actually have a point. Yes, it's possible. When done right, a good horror film can be more than a morality tale. Well-crafted horror films can get you thinking about the darker things in life: like death for instance, and cause you to question your own existence.

Watching a great horror movie is like taking a walk through a cemetery—nothing like a row of tombstones to give you a Thanksgiving-size dose of introspection. So this Halloween, instead of running out to the video store to rent the usual meaningless bloodbaths, how about something a little more creepy and a little more cerebral?

Burnt Offerings (1976 - Dan Curtis)

Why is it that so many horror movies deal with the loss of a child (The Changeling, The Omen, The Exorcist, Audrey Rose)? Perhaps the concept of losing a young child is such a horrific thought that the topic has been relegated to the genre of horror films. Some of the best scary movies revolve around the theme of loss, and Burnt Offerings is no exception.

I'll tell you now, this movie gave me the creeps. It wasn't scary in the typical sense, more eire in the way only horror movies of the 70s can be. For some reason that decade provided some of the best films of that genre. The films were more complex, the feelings they stirred-up in the viewer: less deliberate, but in their subtleties, more resonating. Audrey Rose and Don't Look Now are particularly disturbing films, but Burnt Offerings offers a similar, thematic ride.

Eyes of Laura Mars (1978 - Irvin Kershner)

II rented this film because Tori Amos has a song (Gold Dust) where she mentions Lara Mars. I never knew who she was referring to until I ran across this title in the video store.

Eyes of Lara Mars is a John Carpenter film staring Fay Dunaway and a young Tommy Lee Jones (right there you know it's going to be at least half-decent). Dunaway plays a fashion photographer, and Jones a police officer who must protect her from a serial killer who's murdering people she knows.

The Eyes of Laura Mars is stylish, disturbed and very dated (in a good way) horror film. Check out the trailer, you can't get much more seventies than that. It's a strange little film, and certainly worth a watch.

Sleepaway Camp (1983 - Robert Hiltzik)

No matter how much I begged, my father would never let me watch this film when I was little. He let me watch The Shinning when I was five years old (parents, don't do that), but for some reason he wouldn't let me watch Sleepaway Camp. Now that I've seen it, I know why (thanks Dad).

Kids like me—who were sent away to camp each summer—will agree, watching this film would not have helped with my separation anxiety.

Sleepaway Camp is an interesting film. It's interesting in that it uses the genre of horror to talk about subjects that most films ignore. Childhood bullying, molestation, gender identity issues, teenage sexual exploration, and does it in a such a disturbed and quiet kind of way that you end up finding yourself thinking out loud when the credits roll.

PIN (1988 - Sandor Stern)

This is a Canadian horror film, written by the same person who wrote The Amityville Horror.

I'll warn you now, this film is a bit messed-up.

I wouldn't say it's really scary, more creepy. The acting in it is pretty decent too.

I'm not going to tell you anything about it. Just rent it, don't read the back of the DVD cover, and enjoy. PIN is defiantly a weird one.

Don't Look Now (1973 - Nicolas Roeg)
Audrey Rose (1977 - Robert Wise)
The Omen (1976 - Richard Donner)
The Changeling (1980 - Peter Medak)
The Shining (1980 - Stanley Kubrick)	PS: I love this trailer!

Want more movie reviews? Check out Kiki's previous picks: