Love, Romance and Why I Love The Movies

I’m a hopeless romantic. I know it’s near impossible to maintain a consistent level of romance in a long-term relationship. The hopeless part is that knowing this doesn‘t stop me from wanting it anyway. It’s a pretty substantial expectation to live your life having—and certainly one that has it’s consequences—but what's the point of being in a relationship if you're not willing to try?

Let me be clear. I’m not romantic in a chocolate-and-flowers kind of way (although I have been known to purchase both), I’m more romantic in a let’s-have-sex-in-the-backseat kind of way. But not in a “let’s have sex in the backseat because I can’t bring you home” kind of way (I’m not 15), more in a “let’s seize the moment” kind of way. Some would argue there’s nothing romantic about a backseat proposition, but I’m obviously not sleeping with these people, so that doesn’t really matter to me.

You see for me, romance is all about taking hold of the moment while you’re in it, and acting on your feelings when you’re confronted by them. If your little let’s-be-responsible-meter deters you from doing that one thing just because you’d rather wait until you’re both at home safe in bed with the lights off, than you may have just missed out on a mind-blowing experience. Mind you, if you never have sex in your own bed, you may never quite realize that sex on the stairs is really uncomfortable in comparison. Plus, what's the point of good clean sheets if you can't go ahead and get them dirty on occasion?

By this point in my story you’re likely saying to yourself: Kiki, what the hell does this have to do with movies? Well it clearly has everything to do with movies. For me, a great film is like a perfect daydream. Movies about love and romance can transport a person in even the most dead-end of relationships to a place where they too can yearn for a romance-infused reality.

Great films have the power to change people, and sometimes a film can be the reason you’re inspired to uncork a great bottle of wine, and share it with the one person you can’t seem to get tired of looking at.

So what films do I recommend for heightening your romantic senses? You may be surprised by my picks, these aren't the usual suspects. Here are but a few.

True Romance (1993 - Tony Scott)

The lovely Patricia Arquette sports some serious leopard print in this homage (surprise, surprise, Quentin Tarantino wrote it) to an even better film: Badlands (1973) . If you've ever seen Sissy Spacek and Martin Sheen in Badlands you'll recognize much of the premise of this film, as well as the same music score (if you haven't seen Badlands yet, watch it).

So what's romantic about this film besides the title? What's not romantic about a call-girl who falls in love with a comic book salesmen who has private conversations with Elvis while he's urinating in the men's room (that's Val Kilmer playing Elvis by the way)? Against all odds two lost souls find each other, fall desperately in love and end up running for their lives, and all for the sake of staying together (and making some money).

What's not romantic about this film? The one brutal, and incredibly acted scene between the then virtually unknown James Gandolfini (a.k.a Tony Soprano) and Patricia Arquette. If you can sit through this scene, the payoff is some good old fashioned back-seat romance.

Manhattan (1979 - Woody Allen)

I would argue that this is without a doubt Woody Allen's finest film. For all of you who have witnessed a bad Woody Allen movie in your day, please go out and rent this film and renew your faith in Mr. Allen.

From the opening scene to the final closing moment, Allen takes his audience through the highs and lows of contemporary relationships through all the stages: from inception of new love, to the bitter entrails of divorce. Manhattan is masterfully directed in superbly contrasted black and white and the writing is simply exceptional. Just watch it.

The Last Picture Show (1971 - Peter Bogdanovich)

One might argue that there is nothing romantic about this film, it's at times awkward and confusing and you find yourself wanting to kill off Cybill Shepherd's character for the way she depicts women as highly manipulative creatures.

However in the midst of all this muck, is a dusty gem of a film. A quiet film that makes you uncomfortable at times and that begs you to question how a relationship might be maintained after the initial orgasm has subsided. Peter Boganovich creates a subtle but bold film here and actors Timothy Bottoms and Cloris Leachman blow all the other actors' performances out of the water.

Other Picks:

Monster's Ball (2001 - Marc Forster)

Children of a Lesser God (1986 - Randa Haines)

Moonstruck (1987 Norman Jewison)