From my driveway doorstep Up Island, I cannot see the grass in Victoria, but I imagine that it is lush, rich and green. I can almost smell the sweet cherry blossoms and feel them brushing against my ears as they drift from the branches.

I did find one such tree on the seawall here Up Island and I was so shocked and surprised that I had to (respectfully) snap off a branch to bring home to my kitchen table. Its spring smell is nearly gone now and once again, I regret that I am missing the glory of a Victoria spring.

Within six months, I will be finished my degree and faced with a major decision. Will I stay in this funny, but oddly charming little city, move to the Paris of Canada or allow myself to go back to the comfort of the Velvet Vacuum?

Two of my friends are moving away and another one is considering the possibility. I am beginning to sense that my time Up Island may be drawing to a close as well. However, I have achieved substantial growth in self-awareness, spirituality and overall fulfillment in these past three years. What do I do?

I am writing this entry in an airport, which I find slightly ironic. I may not be ready to settle down anywhere yet. I wonder if the decisions I make after careful consideration and much weighing of pros and cons, actually have any effect on the course of my life. If my destination is predetermined, how much control do I really have? What if the events that occur after a life change that seems so bizarre and unlikely are actually necessary bumps to get us back in the right direction. If I decide to move back to Victoria and it's not in my PLAN, maybe I will not be able to find a job, my health will collapse and my taxes will be audited.

My corner-pub-early-twenties philosophy may seem out of place, but I have nothing else to guide me as I enter this period of uncertainty and opportunity. Life Up Island has been good for my body, mind, heart and soul; I wonder if I can carry that balance with me or if it only exists in this particular spot.