New Town Crier

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Wanted to start this week with a few Ass Awards.

First, to the idiot driver of Blue Bird Taxi #99 the other day. Dude, you are driving a car, I am riding a bike, show a little respect would you, it was my lane jackass.

Speaking of cycling, why is it that there is one pedestrian who walks against the flow on the Galloping Goose Trail? Can you not see that you are the only one walking directly into the path of oncoming commuters? Have the shouts from passing cyclists not raised the question in your head, “Are they yelling at me? Am I on the wrong side of the trail?” Yes asshole we are, and yes you are on the wrong side of the road. 

Our justice system has really dropped the ball lately, a couple of 20 year olds up in Cowichan Bay get a ticket and a 24hr suspensions for killing swans with their boat for fun. A ticket? How about a lobotomy. Schoenborn gets released on $100 bail for uttering threats at a school. A hundred bucks? You have got to be on crack. Shouldn’t the minimum for uttering threats at a school be $1000 asswipes?

This ridiculous bylaw enforcing a No Smoking on patios is starting to get to me. Walking though Victoria, cigarette butts litter the sidewalks. The highest concentration is found outside our many coffee shops, nightclubs and pubs.

As I drove past Logan’s on Cook Street a few weekends ago I noticed 20 to 30 patrons on the sidewalk having their smoke, it was an intimidating sight. A gauntlet. It was 10pm, I was in my car, my doors were locked, I felt safe.

It used to be different when smoking was allowed on the patio. There was a sense of control. You were still on their property and you were provided with an ashtray. You respected that ashtray because sweeping butts is not a fun job. Now we see our sidewalks being littered with butts.

Puddles are toxic, full of butts; children should not play in puddles.  

Cook Street Village is a perfect example of what I’m talking about. Walk by the Beagle Pub on the Oxford Street side, shit do you think it would kill you to sweep? If you want later hours, which by the way will never happen, a good start would be to sweep the sidewalk and school your patrons in smoking etiquette.

It’s so much fun walking to Starbucks or The MoKa House, especially with kids. All the smokers standing on the sidewalk blocking your path, blowing smoke all over you, when there is a perfectly good patio right fucking there where they could be sitting smoking and I could go by without issue.

All this law has done is dirty the sidewalks and push smokers into traditional non-smoker spots.

Two nights ago I found myself at Logan's, outside on the sidewalk... fuck me. 

Bring back the patio!